you spell it S-A-N-T-A-C-L-A-U-S

Last night (Monday, July 24th, 2006), I was perusing the Library of Congress online archives for a movie to watch. There are several classic films available to download or stream for free (public domain films), and I chose Reefer Madness followed by Santa Conquers the Martians. It was made in 1964. It stars a very young Pia Zadora. It is not a classic. It was one of the saddest-- not funny in a pathetic, ironic-- things I have ever seen. You MUST watch it. If, for no other reason, than the song: a classic holiday ditty that, sadly, never really seemed to catch on.
You see, after walking around the 'cook-an-egg' HOT streets of Paris for close to 5 hours, I was ready to sit naked in front of my fan and watch something that would make me laugh. My day started by being turned away from La Villette. They are open everyday-- except Mondays (MERDE: it takes forever to get out there). So, off I went to see the Cindy Sherman at Jeu de Paume at the Tuilleries. It too is closed Mondays. FUCK. Serena. Getting. Hot. As in. Both. Angry. And. Faint. With. Chaleur.
So, I decided to head to le Grand Palais where a bunch of machines of the ancient world are on display (catapults, etc.). Instead of descending back into the bowels of hell er, um... I mean the Metro, I walked along the Seine and laughed at tourists (my new favorite sport-- that and 'Name That Tourist's Nationality').
When I got to le Grand Palais, I couldn't find the entrance or ticket booth. The facade of the building is covered in scaffolding and confusing signs with arrows pointing me in every different direction. Finally, I found the "entrance," but no one was there, and the ticket booth windows were all closed. I was there during their hours of business, the right day of the week, and I verified the dates of the exposition, but as with some things in France: it just wasn't open, and no rational reason can be provided. Dommage.
Then, I headed to the very other side of town to the Jardin de Plantes. It's a zoo, garden, and paleontology museum (dinosaur bones, wooley mammoths). But, because the RER C line wasn't running, I had to take a bus and didn't get there until after 5:30. They weren't letting anybody else in. AARRGGHH! So, back to St. Michel to catch the RER home.
A rather fruitless day.
But, OH! Santa Conquers the Martians made my evening.