Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Sent to an Island to procreate with him? ...ummm (Yes, please!)

Things did not go as planned yesterday, and I only saw one of the four films I planned on attending. Unfortunately, it was The Island. Fortunately, I only paid 3 euros for it. At least we know the globe is still on its axis; Michael Bay loves his car chases, Ewan McGregor loves his motorcycles (or various incarnations of), and Scarlett Johansson cannot act (sure, folks, she's hot-- she had me fooled in Ghost World too, but only because she was playing 'affected.' And don't even bring up Lost in Translation: she deserved none of the attention she got for her performance [1. It sucked. 2. Anna Faris stole every scene they shared]. She made me hate that movie. Stay tuned for my post on how she single-handedly ruined the SpongeBob movie).
The only great thing about this movie? Djimon Hounsou. *prrrr* He just looks and sounds sooooo good... I want to do bad things to him (see today's film #4)
But, I digress.
Don't go see The Island. Don't even bother to rent it.
Yeah, it had some good stuff, but most of it was fluff-- not even good fluff, just the same (recycled and re-wrapped) shit that left a bad taste in my mouth last time. And in terms of product placement, it was worse than Le Transporteur II.

Anyway, today brought with it 4 new films, and its own set of adventures...

I started out with a Cold Shower. Think The Karate Kid meets every French menage à trois film ever made. It was in French with no subtitles, and it had a lot of slang, but I understood most of it (yea me!). It was good, not great. The girl had amazing tits, so it'll probably be released on video in the states.

I was going to watch Truffaut's Fahrenheit 451, but was running to late, so I watched La Moustache (also in French). *pats herself on back and gleams with pride* I liked this film-- but, as with everyone that I've talked to, I didn't understand the ending. It was almost presented as a riddle the audience is supposed to figure out...on their own, after the show as no clear answer was given. Still, very good and this too, will make to the States, but I forsee a complete Hollywood remake with a different, happy ending and a marquee face. Tant pis.

Ah, Hitchcock. How I love thee, let me count the ways. North by Northwest is one of his bests. It is smart, wickedly euphemistic, and Martin Landau used to be kinda hot (in a Crispin Glover sort of way). Also, Cary Grant (see above sentiments regarding Djimon Hounsou).

I knew very little about the Deep Throat phenomenon-- although, my therapist can thank my dad's "I choked Linda Loveless" t-shirt for her new diamond earrings. *shudder* But this is a great documentary. It's very entertaining, smart, and the interviews are hysterical, "Terry, are you done?" I am scheduled to watch Linda recover her clitoris from deep inside her throat tomorrow at 10 p.m. and now, I can't wait (but I must as it only plays once/week here)! Very excited!

All of today's theatres were again in the Latin Quarter and close the Luxembourg Gardens (see photos at right), and I picnicked there for lunch and dinner. And all three of the theatres I went to (N by NW and Inside were both at Les 3 Luxembourg), were new to me. One looked like an old speakeasy with a screen hanging from one wall. It had two gold cherubs on either side of the screen holding back red curtains, and the most guady brass wall sconces this side of Robert Evans gold-veined bathroom mirror. Another looked like what I always imagined the interior of King Friday's castle would look like. It had the exact color blue walls, with ridged, castle wall-like gray molding, and medieval-looking fixtures. The other was a very small room with the screen off to one side (i.e. not centered on the wall) and the chairs all facing straight, but grouped together at an odd angle. Also, in everyone of the theatres I was in today, the bathroom was in the theatre itself on the same wall as the screen. People would walk in and out during the show, and once, we were all privy to one man's very slushy bowel movement. Ick.

I must say, I was saddened to see no one earned any points from my last post. So here's 10 points to anyone who can name the film the following comes from (and another 10 if you can give me the character who said it):

"Wouldn't a fly swatter be easier?"

That's almost too easy.


Blogger madman said...

This is too damn hard! I need hints!

3:20 AM  
Blogger UrbanCannibal said...

Uh, I'm embarassed.
The Karate Kid as uttered by Rlaph Macchio. I should be killed.

4:37 AM  
Anonymous Super SueAsian said...

"I am not a Mexican OK? I am a King Prawn!"
Where is that line "Emilio?" from? Bottle Rocket? To Wong Fu and Thanks For All The Fish? We never did discuss why you didn't like Lost in Translation with me. I sort of knew but this is a bit off putting... I mean... Doesn't Bill Murray just take that over?

4:46 AM  
Blogger Serena said...

Sue Asian-- I have no idea what that means.

UC-- I see I have a worthy adversary and will now up the stakes. mmmwwwwaaaahhhhhaaahhhaaaa!!

20 pts. for the Karate Kid.
6 pts. for begging humbling at my feet for 5 more. ;)

12:47 PM  
Anonymous Super SueAsian said...

Let me rephrase. Why don't you like Lost in Translation? I thought Bill Murray really made up for anything wrong with it?
You don't remember " I am not a shrimp ok. I am a King Prawn." From the Muppets? I thought we had an inside joke on that one. I guess I over estimated our relationship. hahahaha
I am on my knees praising your greatness. Do I get some pity points?

10:19 PM  
Blogger Serena said...

It is physically impossible for me not to remember Pepe's fateful words-- or how I erroneously repeated them to you in the...er, um 'heat of the moment.'
I think that entire film-- while good--was overrated, whereas the Virgin Suicides didn't receive enough attention-- or accolades.

11:25 PM  
Blogger Serena said...

No points for you...Square Head! *gasp*

11:26 PM  
Blogger European said...

Djimon Hounsou is also in "In America" which is a slightly depressing but good movie.

12:14 AM  

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